Frequently Asked Questions

• What’s the goal of a TiE group?
• Where do you begin with a TiE Group?
• How do I explain the concept of a TiE ?
• Where do I initiate the formation of a TiE group?
• How do I invite a non-Christian into TiE?
• Is there a program I need to follow?
• How often do we meet?
• What’s the ideal lifespan of a TiE Group?
• What if the group grows?
• Can we have 5 people in a group?
• How do 3 people avoid getting stagnate?
• Do the people in these groups have to agree with the theological part of your book to participate?
• Can kids participate in TiE group?

Leadership

• If I initiate the group, am I the de facto leader?
• How do you initiate without being seen as the “leader” in a negative way?
• Is there an initiator that sets the focus for the group?
• How do we share the leadership in a TiE Group?

Church

• How does TiE not become just become another church program?
• How does a TiE Group connect to or interact with church life?
• Does a TiE Group take the place of church?
• What if some call TiE their church?

Control

• Is there a Christian basis for TiE?
• How will TiE groups stay grounded in biblical truth?
• How do we keep non-believers or disgruntled believers from taking the group in unbiblical directions?
• How does TiE avoid slipping into exclusivity?
• What if a member of our TiE Group begins using Christianity to inappropriately relate to others in the office?
• What if someone in our group tries to steer a TiE Group in another direction, away from the vision, values and practices?
• How can we assure worried people that a TiE Group is not a cult?
• How do these groups stay accountable?
• How do you know God is talking to you through this group?

Miscellaneous

• What if you are working forty plus hours a week in a small area/company or even alone or no one else wants to be a part of a group?
• What distinguishes this type of group from a “mini” home group?
• Is there an expectation that these groups would multiply?
• Can internet relationships enter into this model?
• Could a TiE work in a larger community, say with fifty to 100 people?
• Can you be in more than one group?
• What is the plan to keep TiE Group from being institutionalized?

Frequently Asked Questions

What’s the goal of TiE Group?
To enable people to follow Jesus for the sake of others inside their normal relational routine. For most people this is at work.

Where do you begin with a TiE Group?
With a vision to be a follower of Jesus and to live life in the Kingdom for the sake of others. Then, find two others who would like to work together toward that vision for their own life.

How do I explain the concept of a TiE Group?
Check out the 3 Is Enought website for a variety of explanations and language. TiE is simply a means for helping people pursue God’s primary purpose for humanity- spiritual transformation for the sake of serving others.

How do I initiate the formation of a TiE group?
Think about the people who are already in your life Identify the ones who seem to be seeking a deeper understanding of God or a more meaningful life. Tell them that you’ve noticed these traits in them and wondered if they would like to explore being part of a TiE group. Suggest that you try it for thirty days and ask them to choose the first book, or article for the group to read.

Is TiE a Christians only group?
No; non-Christians can participate if they are seekers after God and are open to the way of Jesus and the values and practices of a TiE.

How do I invite a non-Christian into TiE?Look for people who have demonstrated some openness to seeking God, or at least “the spiritual dimension of life”. A TiE Group is not formed for the purpose of evangelism—although evangelism will undoubtedly happen as people observe change in each others lives. Simply, invite them to join you on your journey to seek God, regardless of starting points or viewpoints..

Is there a program I need to follow?
Not a program but a path: pray, study, and serve others. The means a group brings to that three-fold focus will be as varied as culture. The question you want to ask is: does the way we do things help us become the cooperative friends of Jesus, living consistent lives of creative goodness, for the sake of others through the power of the Holy Spirit?

How often do we meet?
We recommend once a week - for thirty to sixty minutes. We don’t need more religious activity, we need to help each other follow Jesus in the power of the Spirit for the sake of others.

What’s the ideal lifespan of a TiE Group?
For as long as you wish. Though a sense of community may be a common benefit, creating community is not the goal of TiE. TiE gives a few people a way to practice Christian spirituality for the sake of others in the wider human community. So while we always miss our friends when they move for some reason, someone can always join the group and the group can keep going.

What if the group grows?
Ideally, it shouldn’t grow to more than four. If a fifth person wants to join, form a new group.

Can we have 5 people in a group?
Five is probably too many and because it makes coordination and communication harder. It also requires more leadership, brings more attention to the group and less attention to the practices. However, since there are no Three is Enough police to check up on you—you could always start Five is Enough and tell us how it works.

How do 3 people avoid getting stagnate?
By having an outlet. A TiE Group is about the growth of its individual members and serving others. The inner journey of spiritual transformation, the outer journey to serve others and the life-long pursuit of a conversational relationship with God ought to keep things fresh and interesting!

Do the people in these groups have to agree with the theological part of your book to participate?
No. A TiE Group could have a Catholic, a Pentecostal and Baptist. What is required however is a desire and willingness to practice the practices. Pray. Grow. Serve.

Can kids participate in TiE group?
Probably not, but since no Three is Enough Police will be watching, you’re free to try something and tell us what you come up with. Just remember this is a group decision.

Leadership

If I initiate the group, am I the de facto leader?
Yes, in a manner of speaking. When I say TiE Groups “do not need leadership” I don’t really mean “zero” leadership. I mean they require very little leadership. What they will call for is some minimal facilitation. It just takes someone to take on nominal tasks: “where should we meet?” “When should we meet”? “What will we read?” etc. This role could be shared or rotated every month or quarter.

How do you initiate without being seen as the “leader” in a negative way?
The best way to avoid it is to share leadership. Up front announce that you have no intention to “own” or “control” the group. Let others make suggestions that guide the group. “Leadership” is needed when a given task calls for moving people from one point to another. In the case of a TiE, what’s needed is more akin to facilitation; the act of making something easier; like making people feel welcome and wanted. That’s the kind of leadership that is appropriate for a TiE Group.

Is there an initiator that sets the focus for the group?
Yes, but they start by listening to others, by asking the members of the group what they’re thinking about concerning God and others, The initiator is curious about how others see their current challenges regarding faith and God. Then have a little discussion about the best place to start. Try to find something that fits the whole group. You might try Dallas Willard’s Hearing God. It is a great introduction to the kind of life the Bible envisions for us all.

How do we share the leadership in a TiE Group?
You could share it by rotating leadership on a calendar basis, say every month or every quarter. Or you could share it by task: one member focuses on prayer needs, lists, etc; another member on finding great material to read, and another on coordinating serving others.

Church

How does TiE not become just become another church program?
If by church you mean Sunday Services. Church meetings, no matter what form they take, have had and continue to have an important role in forming the people of God. Most any human endeavor has “meetings” associated with it: business group meet, sports teams meet, news teams meet before the broadcast, etc. But none of those people mistake the meeting for “the game”. TiE Groups give us a way to be in the game when the meeting is over.

How does a TiE Group connect to or interact with church life?
A typical TiE Group would have three people from three different denominations. So they would connect with their church in all the normal ways. The TiE experience is designed to give rails to run on outside church.

Does a TiE Group take the place of church?
No; On the contrary, it’s actually a way of being the church for its discipleship and fissional activities.

What if some call TiE their church?
Since I have no authority to stop people from doing this, I assume it will happen with “…whenever three or more are gathered…”as its biblical basis. But I do not recommend it. I assume the vast majority of members of a TiE will be regular participants in a community of faith. Far from trying to start an alternative to church, my purpose is to unleash the church to give an imagination for being the people of God in the rhythms and routines of our everyday lives.

Control

Is there a Christian basis for TiE?Yes, TiE represents a comprehensive attempt to follow God in the way of Jesus. A healthy, effective TiE Group will find its orientation in the story of God the Father in the Bible; it will find its precedents in the 2000 year-old people of God, and will find its animating power and guidance from the Holy Spirit. That Trinitarian and biblical value system ought to keep it on the rails.

How will TiE groups stay grounded in biblical truth?
By immersing themselves in the biblical story. I find Eugene Petersons translation The Message to be especially helpful in this regard. But “grounded-ness” is not simply a mental or intellectual reality—it is a practiced one. Therefore it’s crucial to practice the practices one finds in the story.

How do we keep non-believers or disgruntled believers from taking the group in unbiblical directions?If you are a practice based – otherly focused group —that has a way of repelling people who have other agendas. If it begins to happen out of genuine ignorance, you’ll have to have a conversation with them. If problems persist you may need to re-form the group. Keep in mind that God himself has been unable to get the church to agree on everything! So don’t be surprised or take it personally if you can’t either.

How does TiE avoid slipping into exclusivity?
God is inclusive: he spared no effort to include us in his family and work. Stay near to God and you’ll stay far from exclusiveness. Also, “super spirituality” is self centered and self-referential—note the Pharisees. Again practicing the practices will repel those with other motives.

What if a member of our TiE Group begins using Christianity to inappropriately relate to others in the office?
TiE will never be perfect. We all do dumb stuff. That being said, I would gently talk to the person appealing to TiE values. It’s sad to say, but if things get too bad, you may have disband your group and start again with just two people. There are lots of mistakes a TiE Group could make and recover from. It is amazing how forgiving people can be of sincere religious people’s mistakes. But becoming the office bully, the office nag or the office “prophet” is not something they easily forgive. That kind of behavior will kill a group. More importantly, it is bad for the cause of God and his Kingdom.

What if someone in our group tries to steer a TiE Group in another direction, away from the vision, values and practices?
Sentence them to a life time of watching your least favorite religious TV program! Actually, since there are only three of you – review the vision, values and practices and ask them if that is what they still want. Then, if they don’t want to stick with the original plan lovingly let the person go and find a new person for the group—or go on as two for a while.

How can we assure worried people that a TiE Group is not a cult?
It is true that when we begin to show great devotion to God and his purposes that friends and family may think we have “gone overboard” or are acting “cult-like”. Sorry to say it, but the scriptures and history are clear that some of this is unavoidable—it is the cost of following Jesus. Having said that, make sure you stay clear of the marks of a cult negatively construed: over devotion to a single leader; cut off from the outside world; controlling others; weird doctrines, etc.

How do these groups stay accountable?
I trust the Spirit to keep me on track, the happenings of earth, cultures and nations on track—and thus a TiE Group on track. Maybe a simple way to have accountability and to stay on track is to use the three activities of a TiE Group: pray to the God revealed in Jesus and the Holy Scripture; read good literature, beginning with the Bible. Try out “The Message” version for a way to hear the scripture with fresh ears. Then read other authors who are widely acknowledged as expert guides in following God in the way of Jesus; serve others in relevant good-for-them ways; with complete altruism and humility.

How do you know God is talking to you through this group?
There is only one way to learn to hear from God: trial and error within the context of a loving child-Father relationship. This is true for individuals, a TiE Group, a small group, congregations, etc. John Wimber used to say that “the guidance system of a rocket comes particularly into play when the rocket is off the launch pad, doing whatever it is rockets do”. A TiE Group can facilitate this learning curve because guidance from God comes primarily within a certain context: the simple heart intention to obey God—to be his cooperative friends. The BEST book I know on the topic is Dallas Willard’s Hearing God.

Miscellaneous

What if you are working forty plus hours a week in a small area/company or even alone or no one else wants to be a part of a group?
Start alone - begin the practices yourself. Ask God to show you someone you may have overlooked or to prepare someone to be with you. You can start with two people—and could even grow to four.

What distinguishes this type of group from a “mini” home group?
A TiE Group typically meets in the workplace or somewhere in one’s most natural place of community. Secondly, a TiE group has specific outcomes in mind—spiritual transformation and otherlyness—that are more focused than most, but not all, home groups.

Is there an expectation that these groups would multiply?
Yes, As people get wind of what is happening with you, simply introduce them to the idea of a TiE Group, let them explore and then ask if you can help them get started.

Can internet relationships enter into this model?
If those internet relationships constitute your “everyday ordinary life” and if they can facilitate the three practices of TiE, then give it a try and give us your feedback.

Could a TiE work in a larger community, say with fifty to 100 people
My strategy for smallness is that it’s humble and hidden, it can also easily multiply and doesn’t require sophisticated leadership. Remember, TiE is really a way of reading and embodying the biblical story. So while a large group could read the story, putting it into practicing requires smallness.

Can you be in more than one group?
As I said, since there are no Three is Enough Police to contend with you can try anything. Just keep it real and keep us in the learning loop.

What is the plan to keep TiE Group from being institutionalized?
Since there is a clear historical pattern that no good idea that’s ever really helped humanity did not at some point become institutionalized, I don’t hold out hope TiE will be able to skip the institutionalism stage. I hope we succeed to the point that we have to deal with this problem.